so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
