i don't like sucking hair
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
