Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
