dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
