umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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