How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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