just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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