Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
