That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
