We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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