The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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