I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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