And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
