Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Farmville is her only friend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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