i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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