I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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