smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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