My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
