I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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