So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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