Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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