Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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