you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize