I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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