I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize