I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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