WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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