His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?