You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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