Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Randomize
