I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize