Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
