Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
