You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
