so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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