Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
