i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
