remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
