their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
