your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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