i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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