yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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