I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
