Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
