So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i believe in u and ur pee
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
