She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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