i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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