my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
