I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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