I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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