tell your sister to shave her snatch
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize