oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
