i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
