glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize