why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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