You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
