I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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