belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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